Fitness & Musing: Determination my Ass

While I was jogging last night and my feet pounded the grass, my mind started pondering what actually motivates me to do things. Determination, determination from where, what, HUH?

HAHA, fuck no. more like 'Stubbornness', 'Ego' and 'Pride'. I had a chat with myself for almost 20mins about this (in my mind of course) and the conclusion is: 

Determination probably can't exist without the interference of 'Stubborness', 'Pride' and 'Ego'. If I had it my way, I'd predefine 'Determination' as a spinoff word from 'Stubborn'. It's probably a word that was sprung up to make human deeds look like they've been fuelled by positivity instead of the words that have a taint of negativity on them. Throw in 'self-loving', 'vanity' and 'joy of being conceit' to that string of thoughts.

If determination is not the spinoff of stubbornness, then what is it? What fuels your determination?

Maybe I'm being myopic, basing this theory on myself - I have a deep-rooted suspicion mine stems from hardcore stubbornness and ego - simple true and pure (okay so maybe not suspicion persay...). As much as Procrastination is my Kong-Pao Chicken when it comes to making decisions, there've been moments where I just get things done cause of some undercurrent ego that's probably been bruised by a passing cloud. The cloud may have rained down on me and floated away, but leaving behind an uncovered area where the sun shines brightly down on a very soaked me like a freaking spotlight in mockery, very disturbingly-so.

Case-in-Example: When I was a teen, my sister-in-law bet that I wouldn't be able to wake up early and go for a jog. (Okay, in retrospect she may have been trying to help me get my feet moving and prep for cross country.) The next morning I was up, out and back in a glistering shimmer of sweat (cause my metabolic rate is just shit-bad) even before my sister-in-law had her morning cuppa coffee.  

I indulge in the 'feel-good' theory that comes once things are done - which should be a good thing. So all hail my stubbornness, atleast for the 'right' causes.

Okay, maybe not that hardcore stubborn till I'm all purple-faced? Image doesn't belong to me, cool it.

Now, I'm on a stubborn pursuit of that toned Bod (yes, fuelled even more so cause of something someone said almost a month back). After some major damages from "Damnit Smurfcity Diwali", mainly from Mama's cooking - I am back on track and re-configuring my body clock.

Next up: 

• Illumi Run on 7th Dec with +Antoinette Patterson, +Hari Kumar , +anu parasuraman +Thulasi Mahadevan and a couple of others who have yet to make their astounding presence known.
• Diving
• Cycling --> Biking
• Dancing

Hang on, have gym tmr at 8am - Bodycombat they say. 

Oh joy, the pleasures of mental self-mutilation. 

Celebrations: 26th Birthday Cheer, the Prelude to Merriment

After toying with the idea to finally celebrate my birthday in a scale larger than my parent's home (21st Birthday), I finally kick-started the ball rolling with my good friend Tendy and wahlah!, on 14th Sept we picked the venue and we're celebrating ME this Saturday! 

Ain't it gorgeous? (Image doesn't belong to me, specific location will be revealed in later post.)

I'm entirely ecstatic about it as I've never really organised such a thing for myself nor celebrated with all my close pals in 1 location before. It's always been running to overseas locations or multiple dinners/lunches over a period of 2 weeks or so <-- it can get overrated and exhausting by the time you meet the last group. But OMG, planning a party for yourself isn't easy either! I rather plan a party for my friends/family than my own mayhem.  (I even asked a friend to throw me a surprise party instead! that girl ran off to Aussie and then wondered if I could pull of a surprise party for myself! Maybe next year or for 30 - Challenge Accepted?) 

Until you take a chill pill, say fuck it and call in reinforcements before you loose your mind - which I only grasped today. And now I know better!

Why celebrate? Other than being in love with the number 26, I do believe the oncoming year will be fabulous for me. My footing in life seems abit more sturdy, cleared my study loan this August, am in a good place with career, even signed up for and attended some Zumba classes with True Fitness and will be continuing my Bellydance classes (Intermediate III) this weekend onwards. See, exciting times ahead, yes?

There'll always be that inclination to want to improve at work, with family and friends, always!

Here's a prelude of sorts in words for this Sat's Celebrations:

• Location: Introduced to me by Tendy, a spot I have not walked past because always thought it was full and noisy... but no... buried inside is a pretty alfresco with a SWING!! This are what friends are for - to dissolve my myopia. It was love at first sight but the humidity did get to us, so hopefully the weather is kinder this Sat.
• Cake: My pretty boss has volunteered to sponsor for and pick-up my 26 cupcakes from Twelve Cupcakes on Sat (but I've requested to buy my own candles, muahaha)
• Dress-code: No Black/White or a combination of the 2. Promoting Colourful theme of sorts and of course comfy apparel. (Looking at the venue, initially wanted a Moroccan theme but got lazy just thinking about it)
• Agenda: Eat, Play, Drink and be Merry. Games like Taboo, Twister, Jinga are in the works.
• Food: Mediterranean cuisine, one of my favs (Hummus? Of course!)
• Wishlist: Has been posted on the Event Calendar within Facebook and I wonder if I'll get to drown in Vouchers (yes, a bulk of it was for vouchers :) - highly unlikely. 
• Most importantly PEOPLE! Mostly 25 of close friends and interesting acquaintances that I've picked up in the past years are gathering up. It's going to be fun to laze with my gay boys, make fun of hetero males & talking shit with the ladies. Just invited my favourite male from 2012 along as well (after getting rid of some internal idiocrasy and dialogues) and here's to hoping he'll turn up as well, he'd definitely have fun with Agnes, Henry and entourage. It's about damn time! 
• Others (to be decided on Friday/Saturday):
• Still have to grab a guestbook of sorts for signatures (what if one of them become famous 1 day?) and for photos from this celebrations. Or a Frame to be mounted on the wall? Scrapbook vs Wall mural? 
• Door Gifts/Thank you cards for 25 Guests of mine (damnit!)
• Should I still get the disposable cameras for other to take photos with? Nah.. Olympus FTW
• Maybe create my own #hashtag for instagram photos I know will be posted up - #rekasg, #lottiereed, #rekaturns26?

The past weeks, I've been in correspondence with the location asking if we can have Pinatas, Bellydancers performing, whiteboard/flipboards for Pictionary etc and everything just fell limp after they informed me of a $500 rental. Nah... not going to happen! But they are prompt and helpful in responding, which I appreciate alot seeing how many queries I had for them. 

Rubbing my hands in glee and looking forward to this Saturday. Here's to wishing my fav people will all make it and we can have a blast time together just being merry, silly and naughty (maybe?). We gonna party - chill, game and rock out (there're plans to go clubbing thereafter, provided I'm not exhausted from the....chilling!).

Oh wells, off to bed, have an early morning to get the Cervical Cancer shot and countless work to be done... love Lottie Reed.

Current song playing: Some Love by Macklemore, Poo Maalaye (by Music Composer Illayaraja)