Fitness & Musing: Determination my Ass

While I was jogging last night and my feet pounded the grass, my mind started pondering what actually motivates me to do things. Determination, determination from where, what, HUH?

HAHA, fuck no. more like 'Stubbornness', 'Ego' and 'Pride'. I had a chat with myself for almost 20mins about this (in my mind of course) and the conclusion is: 

Determination probably can't exist without the interference of 'Stubborness', 'Pride' and 'Ego'. If I had it my way, I'd predefine 'Determination' as a spinoff word from 'Stubborn'. It's probably a word that was sprung up to make human deeds look like they've been fuelled by positivity instead of the words that have a taint of negativity on them. Throw in 'self-loving', 'vanity' and 'joy of being conceit' to that string of thoughts.

If determination is not the spinoff of stubbornness, then what is it? What fuels your determination?

Maybe I'm being myopic, basing this theory on myself - I have a deep-rooted suspicion mine stems from hardcore stubbornness and ego - simple true and pure (okay so maybe not suspicion persay...). As much as Procrastination is my Kong-Pao Chicken when it comes to making decisions, there've been moments where I just get things done cause of some undercurrent ego that's probably been bruised by a passing cloud. The cloud may have rained down on me and floated away, but leaving behind an uncovered area where the sun shines brightly down on a very soaked me like a freaking spotlight in mockery, very disturbingly-so.

Case-in-Example: When I was a teen, my sister-in-law bet that I wouldn't be able to wake up early and go for a jog. (Okay, in retrospect she may have been trying to help me get my feet moving and prep for cross country.) The next morning I was up, out and back in a glistering shimmer of sweat (cause my metabolic rate is just shit-bad) even before my sister-in-law had her morning cuppa coffee.  

I indulge in the 'feel-good' theory that comes once things are done - which should be a good thing. So all hail my stubbornness, atleast for the 'right' causes.

Okay, maybe not that hardcore stubborn till I'm all purple-faced? Image doesn't belong to me, cool it.

Now, I'm on a stubborn pursuit of that toned Bod (yes, fuelled even more so cause of something someone said almost a month back). After some major damages from "Damnit Smurfcity Diwali", mainly from Mama's cooking - I am back on track and re-configuring my body clock.

Next up: 

• Illumi Run on 7th Dec with +Antoinette Patterson, +Hari Kumar , +anu parasuraman +Thulasi Mahadevan and a couple of others who have yet to make their astounding presence known.
• Diving
• Cycling --> Biking
• Dancing

Hang on, have gym tmr at 8am - Bodycombat they say. 

Oh joy, the pleasures of mental self-mutilation. 

Celebrations: Diwali 2013 with the Family

And so for the first time since the being in the industry, I've taken leave to spend time at home and help out at home for the festivities, include the weekend and office closure on Monday = 5-freaking-days. Kinda feeling all grown-up.

Little did I know how "Nazi" I'd get this year.

While my sister-in-law, very graciously-so, kick-started this... tradition of buying new clothings together for the family last year, I went ape-shit nuts and got my nephew, niece and myself clothes to be tailored from 2 Saris (bought by my mum and aunt for me). Got similar coloured Saris for Sis-in-law, Aunt and Mum. Dad's got a new shirt and Brother's weaselled out of it claiming he's got enough of blue shirts and no way he's wearing a traditional top....well, it'll probably take me another 10years before I can make a miracle like that to happen...I just have to keep trying with him. It's Family, you keep trying and never give up.

My nephew though, whole other universe of class and style. That boy (although he dragged his foot initially) instructed the tailor on what he wanted and I went in to rescue the collar and neckline cutting. My boy's got style yo! My niece was also reluctant to wear a skirt & top set, that pretty girl is a crossbreed of tomboy and sibeh-feminine-girl, but she's in love with her tailored set as well (think she knows she doesn't have much choice). It's taken me a total of 5 trips to Little India, which I very affectionately call "The Black Hole" (not-so-private joke), this is more than a couple of past years accumulated, but this family's been in need for some festivities spirit. I LIKE!

"We going to smurf it out this year!" Replacing the my white scarf with Gold.

Today was the first day I've been home. Mum actually let me sleep in till noon (yay!) and then this hot-piece of demoness arose only to start 'barking orders': THROW, CLEAR and CLEAN the damn house. I've been 'bullying' my Dad getting him to clean the windows at the very least and shoved all his stuff scattered around the hall into his room. Made Pineapple tarts with Momma and discarded heaps of hers and Dad's magazines, 2 tables and I'm going to rid of a couple of things without them knowing, they probably didn't even realise they have it. HOARDERS, they are!

Tomorrow's got painting walls, mope & sweep floors, help Mum clean her shit from the room and her atrocious kitchen (it's a very nice and big one but dear lord...), harp at Dad (for fun atleast) and my precious room to be tidied. Already have 3-4 large bags of clothes to be given away as well!

SPRING CLEANING rule of thumb: If you haven't used it in a year, throw it away! You can always buy a new version if you ever need it.

Looking forward to tmr night for some winding down over wine with Mum & Aunt and then... Saturday (Diwali)!!